Resurrected Living
"What are you going to do with your new resurrected life? This is the heroic question." Richard Rohr

5 Options When We Disagree

“In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (Prov. 10:19)

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Prov. 12:18)

We live in a culture that rushes to comment on every event and every word. We are tempted to respond to every social media post with which we differ. We use our platforms to voice our opinions about whatever has captured the attention of people today. We rarely pause to ask ourselves if this is wise, helpful, or the best use of our time. 

We live in a culture that lacks grace. A person can say 100 good things, but it is the one thing we disagree with that garners our focus. We obsess over one tweet, one post, or one statement rather than the entire life of the person making it. We are willing to risk a relationship over a comment or an opinion. 

Being heard is not always the best option. Even if we are right, there are some things more important than being right. Our focus should be on loving our neighbors. What are we to do the next time we hear or read something we disagree with? Here are some options. 

Choose conversation over commenting – Rather than comment on a post or send an email, choose to grab lunch or a cup of coffee. Conversations often turn out better than commenting. 

Assume the best, not the worst – Whenever we read or hear something, we make judgments. We may assume a public comment is directed towards us or about a specific situation. We don’t know, but we make an assumption. When we don’t know, always assume the best. 

Silence is sometimes golden – Keep on scrolling. It is not necessary, nor is it wise, to comment on everything. This is especially true of controversies that will be here one day and gone the next. If offering my opinion will create problems rather than resolve them, then is it really what I should be doing?

Choose relationships over being right – A friendship is more important than having the last word. Most disagreements are over things that don’t ultimately matter. A relationship is more valuable than winning an argument.

Examine yourself – If I have a problem with what someone said or posted, then I need to begin with myself, not the other person. I need to ask myself certain questions. Why does this bother me? Should I be bothered by it? What would my goal be if I responded? How can I best love this other person?

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